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Essential Oils for Lovers

9 Essential Oils for Lovers

Spice Up Your Relationship by Incorporating These 9 Essential Oils for Lovers!

February. The month we celebrate love! Love is truly life's most precious gift and the physical expression of romantic love can either be incredibly fulfilling, lost and non-existent or for most people, somewhere in between. Using these 9 essential oils for lovers is a beautiful way that you can pour new excitement into your marriage.

Let's face it. Obstacles can creep into our love lives. 

Fatigue, stress, physical issues of ill-health and self-limiting beliefs are some of the biggest stumbling blocks we have to overcome to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

It's really important to find that space where you feel completely free to enjoy physical intimacy with your mate. Consider these ideas to overcome common obstacles.

  • De-stress and get enough sleep! We are a culture that runs from one thing to the next. Lives are in high gear for many, which contributes to stress and exhaustion. Make it a priority to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night. Turn off those screens earlier so you're not overstimulated at bedtime. Draw a warm bath and throw in a handful of sea salt with a few drops of your favorite, relaxing essential oil such as lavender or a relaxing blend. Light a few candles and put on soft music.

    It is so important to FIRST treat yourself with love.

Love yourself enough to do simple things which go a long way towards relaxing and feeling amorous.

  • Eat well so you feel well. It is an absolute fact that when we eat well (clean proteins, lots of veggies and some fruit, only whole, grainy carbs and lots of pure water), we feel better physically. When we feel well physically, we feel better about ourselves which supports a healthy, sexy life.

  • Exchange your toxic thoughts and beliefs for healthier ones. Let's face it, we all have some “self limiting beliefs.” Common ones are, “my butt's too big” or “I'm fat” or maybe other thoughts that limit your ability to flow freely in the moment...and in life. Speak to yourself in love. Encourage yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Yes, we all have areas that need work, but using affirmations coupled with essential oils such as bergamot, wild orange or an invigorating blend can help you replace negativity with some emotional self-love and acceptance.

The reality of the human mind says, "What you say to me is only an opinion. What I say to myself is absolute gospel."

​What ARE you telling yourself?

I challenge you to re-write your life script by speaking what you want into your life.

Some examples?

Look in the mirror every evening and acknowledge your “wins” from the day. Tell yourself, “I love you” and “I am enough.” Seriously! Look yourself in the eye and give yourself some love!

We are experts at tearing ourselves down but how the heck will we ever get beyond those self-limiting beliefs if our self-inflicted story is one of criticism? There is great power in affirmations. Couple those with emotionally supportive essential oils? Now you have some real power to change things!

When you inhale the aroma of a pure (key word here) essential oil, it can be a powerful way to affect memory, hormones and your emotions through your olfactory receptors and your limbic brain.

9 Essential Oils for Lovers

Your limbic brain structures affect long-term memory (hippocampus), the emotions (amygdala), the autonomic nervous system and hormones (hypothalamus), as well as regulating your blood pressure, heart rate, and attention.

The olfactory system (smell system) is closely associated with the limbic brain and that's why essential oils have such profound physiological and psychological effects on our entire body!

“Our sense of smell stimulates the nerve endings of the olfactory bulb, which lies at the back of the nose, which in turn stimulates a part of the brain called the limbic system that triggers our libido,”

Blossom Kochhar, renowned aroma therapist.

“The essential oils do magic and stimulate the pituitary gland, the master endocrine gland, which controls hormone production. In-activeness of pituitary gland can lead to low sex drive. So, the oils help keep it in an active state,” Aromatherapist, Dr. Naresh Arora, Chase Aroma Therapy.

Essential oils molecules are so tiny that they quickly penetrate the skin and move into the bloodstream carrying their powerful benefits to the entire body.

Just a simple overview and basic understanding of how essential oils work to benefit our sexuality gives us a framework to explore their libido enhancing effects further.

Let's take a look at the "9 Essential Oils for Lovers and how to use them safely.

The first order of safety is making sure you have a high quality, pure essential oil brand. I mention brands specifically because there is a huge problem with adulteration in the essential oils world. After much research I, personally and professionally only trust one brand for use on my body, my family or my clients. Adulteration is common and the risk is just not worth it!

Get more info on my trusted brand of essential oils here.

**A general rule of thumb for diluting high quality essential oils for adult use is 2% to 4%, so roughly, 6-12 drops of your essential oils into 1 TBSP of a carrier oil such as coconut, almond or avocado oil.

Now on to the top 9 Essential Oils for Lovers!


  • Exotic, fiery and fresh

  • Blends well with cedarwood, coriander, frankincense, wild orange, patchouli and sandalwood

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, cephalic, stimulating, tonic and warming

Ginger is a warming oil. Always dilute with a carrier oil such as fractionated coconut or sweet almond oil when using topically. Great coupled with wild orange for a warming back or foot massage. Can use in a handful of sea salt thrown in to an awesome warming bath. Supports longevity. Enhances fertility.

Black Pepper

  • Warm and spicy for the body and mind. Enhances alertness and stamina.

  • Blends well with sandalwood and frankincense

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, increases blood flow

Black pepper is also a warming oil. Great for warming and supporting great blood flow or circulation. Heavily dilute with a carrier oil. Black Pepper is a middle note when blending with other essential oils such as citrus or florals. Great in massage blends. Boosts energy and stamina (use on bottoms of the feet). Fires up the libido. Increases attraction.


  • Musky, sensual and warm

  • Blends well with frankincense, jasmine, lemon, rose and ylang ylang

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, grounding, opening, purifying, relaxing and soothing

Spritz sheets with sandalwood and water from a glass spray bottle to induce relaxation and an exotic and sensual atmosphere. Makes a delicious perfume for men or women blended with other oils or alone. Aroma helps release tension and anxiety, fear and other stress related difficulties in the bedroom. Use as a sensual massage oil blended in your favorite carrier oil with ylang ylang or the blend for women. Supports male arousal. Enhances physical sensuality.

Clary Sage (NOT for use in pregnancy unless past your established due date. I would also caution people who have had estrogenic forms of cancer)

  • Sweet, mellow, musky

  • Blends well with bergamot, cypress, geranium, jasmine, lavender, wild orange and sandalwood

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, balancing, euphoric, inspiring, intoxicating, relaxing, soothing

Add 5-10 drops into some sea salt, then into your warm bath as an excellent de-stressor. Helps support balancing emotions, irritability and nervousness. Use a few drops of clary sage on pillow to encourage deep sleep and vivid dreams. Apply 6 drops in 1 TBSP carrier oil, topically to the abdomen, to support normal hormonal balance. Brings a sense of calm and confidence. Soothing in labor diffused or diluted in a carrier oil for a back, abdominal or foot massage.


  • Fresh, strong, woody

  • Blends well with bergamot, patchouli, geranium, juniper, lavender, thyme and spice oils

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac (especially men), enhances circulation and sensitivity to touch

Rosemary is reputed to support emotions and bolster confidence. Enhances the spiritual dedication to love. Supports healthy male libido and participation by using a few drops in a carrier oil applied to the abdomen, daily. Use in massage oil blend with any of the above mentioned essential oils and a carrier oil. Great in a bath with sea salt, geranium and white fir. Increases blood flow and supports good circulation. Increases sensitivity to touch. Heightens sensations.


  • Anisy, fresh, slightly musky, sweet spicy, woody

  • Blends well with bergamot, clary sage, cypress, frankincense, jasmine, sandalwood and spice oils

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, comforting, soothing, purifying, strengthening, warming

Refreshing bath oil. Use 5 drops used in sea salt added to bath for fatigue, exhaustion, head tension and stress. Diffuse to create a sensual mood that is uplifting yet calming. Makes a great aphrodisiac massage oil blend with coupled with any of the oils above.

Ylang Ylang

  • Balsamic, floral, rich, sensual, slightly spicy, soft and sweet

  • Blends well with bergamot, jasmine, rose, sandalwood and vetiver

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, calming, euphoric, sedating, soothing

For a sensual, relaxing massage, use with the blend for women and sandalwood. Supports peace, calm and freedom to play and explore when diffused. The oil of the inner child. Supports the heart on both a physical and emotional level. Use 5-10 drops with sea salt in a warm evening bath to relax and open. Ignites the libido. Increases attraction between people.

Jasmine & Rose (In the Blend for Women)

While Jasmine and Rose absolutes can not currently be purchased from my favorite essential oils company, they are part of the Blend for Women along with other amazing aphrodisiac-type essential oils. This blend is intoxicating and blends with your unique chemistry and pheromones to support enhanced attraction.

  • Complex, sensual blend

  • Blends well with any oils that blend with jasmine or rose or perfect alone!

  • Key qualities: Aphrodisiac, supports hormonal balance, enhances allure

Use as a sensual, chemical-free perfume..just a few drops in a spray bottle with distilled water. Makes a beautiful massage oil blended with any carrier oil. Diffuse to set the mood for love or put a few drops in your bath in a bit of sea salt. Enhances femininity and allure.

9 Essential Oils for Lovers

Open your heart, mind and emotions to the use of these 9 essential oils for lovers and see what level of fresh, new excitement they bring to your love life. I don't need any great detail but I'd love to hear a bit about how they affect your lovey dovey endeavors.


xoxo, Lisa

About the Author Lisa Byrd, SC Midwife & Natural Wellness Educator

Lisa Byrd LM, CPM Lisa is a healthy mama/baby crusader and a "crunchy midwife" in Columbia, SC with a passion to help families create a safe, non-toxic home for their families. She's is a mom to 5 amazing adults and "Gigi" to 5 beautiful granddaughters and 1 incredible grandson. She lives and works in Columbia, SC where her home birth practice thrives. Lisa travels to Charleston, SC, Greenville, SC and Charlotte, NC to teach classes on reducing toxicity in the home. When she's not catching babies, creating clean, fun concoctions in her lab (ehem, kitchen) or teaching natural health care classes, you'll find her playing in her metal arts studio or soaking up negative, life giving ions at the beach. "We are all on a health journey. The key is keeping it simple and finding joy on your journey!"

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